Photo is by Laura Tempesr Zakroff
Today is the full Crow Moon and a penumbral eclipse and it has been almost ten months since I have publicly practiced magick with others. Last May I took a break from my practice to give myself time to see if this was what I truly believed in. If it was truly my calling. I cast my first spell at nine years old and never looked back, I dedicated myself as a witch at the age of 13 and have been practicing witchcraft longer than I haven’t been. And after a while I started to have a crisis of faith. Was this the path that was truly for me or was I just following the motions? These past few months have taught me so much about myself and my capabilities. Two months after I made this momentous decision my grandmother went in for colon cancer surgery and then had a stroke, broke her hip and had another stroke. After three months in rehab she came home and my mother and I began to care for her and it was that crisis that kept bringing me back to the Craft. Every day that I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore my first instinct was to meditate, or light a candle and pray to Hekate. I tried to resist and resisting only made the want more intense. The fact that it was my conservative Christian grandmother that restored my faith in the Old Ways brings me no small amount of joy. Perhaps I should say restored my faith, I don’t think I ever lost my faith, more that I just became tired or disillusioned. I should say that the light was shown on the path and helped me out of the darkness.
The past ten months have been like living in a spiritual cave and I am finally beginning to emerge from it, like the Hermit I have gone deep within seeking knowledge and wisdom. And I have found that wisdom within myself. It reminds me of the concept that divinity/deity is within. We are constantly seeking God outside of ourselves but it is inside that we have to look, because that is where we find Her. “Thou Art Goddess”. That statement has had a lot of meaning to me lately and I’m finally starting to really understand what it means. It’s not just a quaint catch phrase you say to each woman that enters the circle, it truly is an acknowledgement of that divine spark that lives within each and every one of us on this planet.
Last month I purchased my first home, a grand old house that sits high on the hill overlooking the city below. It seems to be one of the oldest houses in the neighborhood from what I have been able to come up with in my research of the area. At 116 years old this girl has withstood the test of time. Beautifully scuffed old wooden floors hidden beneath cheap carpet, the old wooden casings have been painted over and the floorboards in the dining room have been carpeted over. A few days after beginning to move in we had some upset spirits that came around. I understood, I could see how the previous owners didn’t treat this treasured house as it should be. Once I explained my visions for restoring the house and had a blessing ceremony the spirits quieted down. Now we just have the occasional joke with the electronics they like to indulge in.
My favorite room in my house is not the biggest or even the one with the best view. No, my favorite room is the tiny room that is next to the stairs leading to the attic. I think I could fit a full sized bed in there and that’s about it. That room is my magick room, my altar room, my sacred space. There is a tiny window that allows the full moon to shine through it and a small closet that now houses my herb collection. The walls are painted a lovely light purple with white trim and there is art all over the place. I walk into this room and I’m at peace, I can feel the tranquility and sacredness in it. The cats and dogs are all drawn to this room and meet me in it whenever I’m working in it. This room above all else in my home is my sanctuary and I feel so blessed to have it.
Tonight is the full moon and it will be the first esbat I celebrate in my temple. Next month I have been invited to join some friends for a Beltane ritual and was asked to call Earth. Last week I made incense with two witches that will be gifted at the Beltane ritual at the ocean. I’m feeling the calling of the Old Ways returning to me and I feel like my body has been filled with light again.
Witching by the Moon 