Yesterday morning as I lay in bed for a few minutes after my alarm on my phone went off I was drifting in and out of that in-between, the time and essence of awake and asleep and I was trying to motivate myself to get going and get into the shower to start my day. As I laid there I heard a female voice shout at me, “Get up!” Thinking it was my mother who lives with me my eyes popped open and I flung back the covers and then looking towards my bedroom door I realized that the hall light was not on. It was not my mother who was still sleeping in her bedroom at the end of the hallway. It was another woman telling me to wake up. Who that was I’m not sure but this is not the first time since moving into my home that I have had a woman speaking to me that turned out to not be my mom. And it’s usually little things, never full sentences, more just a little to get my attention. There is always knocking on my bathroom door as well when I’m in the shower and again blaming my mom for interrupting me I shout back only to hear the knocking get louder and more insistent. My house does have a female spirit that lives in it but I’m not certain if she is the one that has spoken to me or if it’s someone else. I think the next time my medium friend comes over I am going to ask her if she can deduce who this mystery female is and what it is that she wants from me. It’s funny because one of the things I have always wanted as a magickal person is to be able to communicate with spirits and hear the Gods. Hearing and Seeing are not strong gifts for me; I have what I call the Knowing where I just know things to be true. That is my strongest sense: my intuition. So for this gift of clairaudience to be coming up for me is a delight for me but I need to figure out how to work with it.In December I began to pull a tarot card every morning after I shower and I can’t even count how many times now that I have pulled the High Priestess card. I pulled Her again this morning. I’ve finally began to understand the message She is bringing me and I think that it took me awhile to figure it out because I was resistant to it because it means stepping out of my comfort zone aka the Zone of Lies. The past two weeks I have been pulling a lot of wand cards which of course is all about creating. After those card messages I have been feeling the pull lately to start working on an outline for teaching. I have always thought about teaching others but because of my age I have never felt like I’m qualified to teach witchcraft to others. I usually tend to be the youngest witch in whatever group I’m in but I’m always drawn to leading and creating. I also tend to hang back when it comes to offering teaching because I think I’m such a different kind of practitioner than most people want to learn from. The General Pagan populace follows a very Wiccan based ceremony outline and beliefs and generally when you start mentioning the fact that you don’t believe in the Law of Three, you have no issues with Lucifer or Satan and hexing isn’t an evil word to you people start screaming that you’re a “black magick witch”. (And please stop equating black with evil. It’s insulting to black folks and it’s time to stop saying that there is evil magick and good magick. It’s neither good nor bad because magick is just like nature and nature is just wild and free.) But, as the Cosmos have been sending these messages to me over and over again I decided that it was time to listen and starting creating what I would teach a new student that came to me wanting to learn witchcraft. Now, note that I believe that witchcraft is a magickal practice not a religious one. If you want to learn Paganism from me that is something separate to me from my magickal workings. I think you can be a witch and be secular and that is absolutely cool. Check out the Fat Feminist Witch podcast and blog for more info on that.
I feel that I have grown a lot in the last few years in my witchcraft because I have so many resources online now that are showing me the kind of practice I want to have and speaking about their beliefs that mirror my own. I don’t feel so alone anymore and I have them to thank for that. If you’re interested in expanding your beliefs I suggest checking out some of these Big Name Pagans: Devin Hunter, L. Tempest Zakroff, Storm Faerywolf, The Fat Feminist Witch, Lasara Firefox Allen, Phoenix LeFae, Elvyra Love. Some of these folks have podcasts and some have blogs and if you search for them on Facebook, Twitter and the great Google you will find them.
*Personal blog post from 2017.